Archive for May, 2010

The “Golden Boy” Lays a “Golden Egg”

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2010 by Jordan

Bush league players making up a bush league team.

Last weekend was the gold medal game for the 2010 Hockey World Championships in Germany.  Canada was not a participant in this game however after exiting the tournament in the quarterfinals with a 5-2 loss to the Russians.  I don’t really understand why Canadians don’t seem to care about the World Championships but they don’t.  Perhaps it’s because the tournament is rarely in North America or because it is over shadowed by the Stanley Cup playoffs.  I personally feel that it is because Canada sends a combination of the “B” and “C” squad players every year.  Obviously not all the best Canadian players can participate in the tournament depending on their success in the Stanley Cup playoffs.  However, a number of the best Canadian hockey players often forgo participating in the World Championships following their dismissal from the Stanley Cup playoffs with what I would consider very feeble excuses.

Living in “Crosby Land” I witness on a daily basis what an impact “The Messiah” has on this small community.  People that played novice hockey with him reminisce about “the good old days” and people that were at the Cole Harbour Subway at the same time as him once speak of him like they are best friends saying things like, “Sid had a great game last, just great!”  (Obviously because they are from Cole Harbour, they are on a “Sid” name basis with Crosby.)  When Crosby rejected Mark Messier’s offer to join Team Canada in Germany at the World Championships (I wonder if he had the jam to do this himself by the way?), Crosby’s reasoning and the community’s support of Crosby’s decision disappointed and frustrated me immensely.

Crosby declined Messier’s offer sighting that it had been a long two years making it to the Stanley Cup finals back to back years and playing in the Olympics this past February.  One of the local radio stations held a pole asking listeners if Crosby should have gone to the World Championships or not and 85% supported his decision and reasoning not to attend the World Championships.

I want to make one thing clear before I continue; I am not a Crosby hater.  Crosby plays the game right and I have a lot of respect for that.  However, his rejection of the World Championship and reasoning to go along with his rejection is a pathetic and I believe it adds “diva” to the many adjectives used to describe Sidney Crosby.

Canada’s roster at the World Championships had one player on it from the Olympic roster and that was Cory Perry.  The Russians had fourteen players on their roster that were also in the Olympics and among those 14 players were Pavel Datsyuk, Sergie Gonchar and Evgeni Malkin.  Last time I checked all three of these players also played in the same back to back Stanley Cup Finals that Crosby played in.  Even more, in Canada’s 5-2 loss to the Russians that eliminated them from the tournament Datsyuk and Malkin combined for 3 of Russia’s 5 goals.  Do you think Crosby could have been of some help in this game?

People need to remember Crosby is a 23-year-old kid that has not yet come close the Gretzky like greatness.  In my opinion, he has also not earned the right to decline an invitation to help Hockey Canada because he doesn’t feel like playing and would prefer to rest.  He’s 23 years old, in peak physical condition, had no injuries at the time of the invitation and was asked to play in half a tournament.  Consequently, I would say the “Golden Boy” could learn a lot from his Russian colleagues about patriotism and dedication.

So Much More Then Just Rocks!

Posted in Travel with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 20, 2010 by Jordan

Most readers of this blog do not live in Nova Scotia so I will share this little adventure with you.

Recently the LC and I decided to jump in the soccer mom mobile and take a little drive to Peggy’s Cove to breath in some sea air and play on the rocks.  Although we have both been to Peggy’s Cove on a few occasions it is a small little place that I really enjoy and have no problem driving the 45 km from Halifax to get there.

I can’t believe that it hadn’t dawned on me before but Peggy’s Cove has to be one of Canada’s best natural parkour playgrounds.  The rocks around there have “broken foot and ankle” written all over them.  There is actual a sign on the lighthouse saying something to the effect that many people have been rewarded with death when visiting Peggy’s Cove due to foolish behaviour.  The LC and I tossed such warnings out the window and parkoured our asses off until the waves came home.  The LC is pictured leaping over a mighty chasm that surely would have cost her her life had she made any errors.  I can say with joy that the LC survived the experience and lived to parkour another day.

In addition to the picturesque scenery of Peggy’s Cove, is a monument commemorating those who died on Swiss Air 111 in 1998.  Reports indicated that the plane crashed 8 km off Peggy’s Cove while dumping fuel in preparation for an emergency landing in Halifax but many retired RCMP investigators have recently come forward with a conspiracy theory suggesting the crash was a covered up terrorist act.  I’ll leave such speculation up to those who like to speculate on such affairs but 229 people died on that flight and there is a rather nice monument remembering those who perished.

Peggy’s Cove, check it out if you’re in the area.

THE PACIFIC

Posted in Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 17, 2010 by Jordan

Last night the ten part mini-series THE PACIFIC concluded on HBO and I must say it is without question one of the best portrayals of the Second World War I have ever seen.  The $200 million mini series was produced by Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg and was in many ways the sequel to the 2001 mini-series Band of Brothers also produced by Hanks and Spielberg.

THE PACIFIC tracks the intertwined real-life journeys of three U.S. Marines across the Pacific Theater during World War II.  The miniseries follows these men and their fellow Marines from their first battle with the Japanese on Guadalcanal, through the rain forests of Cape Gloucester and the strongholds of Peleliu, across the bloody sands of Iwo Jima and through the horror of Okinawa, and finally to their triumphant but uneasy return home after V-J Day[1].

As a huge fan of Band of Brothers I was anticipating much of the same type of story when THE PACIFIC debuted in mid March.  After Part 2 I quickly realized that THE PACIFIC was quite different from Band of Brothers and I thoroughly questioned whether THE PACIFIC had delivered as well as its predecessor.  It was after probably the third or fourth episode that it dawned on me what the fundamental difference was between THE PACIFIC and Band of Brothers.  The first time I watched Band of Brothers I was overcome with feelings of pride, patriotism and even a desire to enlist in the armed forces.  Band of Brothers’ European setting has a feel of glory, adventure and heroism about it, which left me wishing I were in my twenties in the early 1940s so that I could do my part in the war effort.  THE PACIFIC on the other hand paints a very different picture from that of Band of Brothers.  Like Band of Brothers, THE PACIFIC does not shy away from the graphic nature of the Second World War.  However, those who fought in the Pacific theater battled a much different enemy in a much different environment.  The battles in the Pacific were fought on pieces of land most people had never heard of opposed to romantic and world-class cities like Paris and Rome.  There was a good quote in Part 10 of THE PACIFIC from an American cab driver to one of THE PACIFIC’s main characters Robert Leckie.  The cab driver, that was a veteran of the Normandy invasion waved Leckie’s cab fare upon his return home saying, “I may have jumped into Normandy but I had the assets of London and Paris, all you got was jungle rote and malaria.”  To me that was the primary difference between THE PACIFIC and Band of Brothers; Band of Brothers left me wishing I were part of the war where THE PACIFIC left me thankful I was not.

The portrayal of war in THE PACIFIC was so real, graphic and violent it left me mesmerized and forgetting to blink for what felt like entire episodes.  I cannot image myself sitting in water filled holes for weeks at a time and sharing my living space with decaying bodies. THE PACIFIC unquestionably shows the efforts and sacrifices of the ‘Greatest Generation’ in the purest of ways.  My generation will never know and never understand the contributions and sacrifices of those who participated in the Second World War.  However, watching THE PACIFIC is a good start to understanding how the Second Great War broke the minds and souls of so many young men.


[1] HBO CANADA. THE PACIFIChttp://www.hbocanada.com/thepacific/about.php.  May 17, 2010.

 

What Happens When Bo Jackson Eats a Big Phil Combo at Taco Bell?

Posted in Grind My Gears with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 16, 2010 by Jordan

The answer to the question in the  title is of course Adult Body Odor.

Every year when the weather gets a little nicer and the temperature gets a little warmer the scent of spicy B.O. can be found filtering throughout the air and every year I continue to be shocked that this occurs.  I understand that it is cold in the winter and the odds of casual sweating are slim but when it gets warm there is no excuse for adults smelling the after math of a Taco Bell binge.  You see, there is this section in every grocery store dedicated to personal hygiene.  In this section there are these little stick things called deodorant.  They range in price from about $1.99 to $6 and it’s almost a certainty that one brand will be on sale at any given time.  Consequently, the cost of one of these little sticks is less or equal to the cost of a single beer.  The beauty about one of these sticks is that it last for about 2 or 3 months where a beer only last for about 10 minutes.  Moreover, it costs mere pennies to deodorize one’s self on a daily basis.

The point to this is, it really grinds my gears when fully grown and seemingly responsible adults walk around like there B.O. doesn’t stink…. Because it does.  Don’t get me wrong; I am fully aware that sometime deodorant wears off towards the end of the day.  I am also aware that if one uses the same deodorant for an extended period of time ones body seems to adopt immunity to such deodorant rendering it completely ineffective and useless.  All I ask is that you be prepared.  If you notoriously have bad B.O. do something about it because your scent is affecting my life.

I don’t typically have a B.O. problem (I guess I’m one of the lucky ones) I do have farts the reek.  I don’t however; walk around like my shits don’t stink.  I wish there was a pill that existed that made my farts smell likely freshly baked cinnamon buns but there isn’t.  There is however deodorant that makes one’s armpits smell like a mountain glacier.  So stop grinding my gears and use it!

Political Brainchilds

Posted in Politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 15, 2010 by Jordan

One of my favourite things about politics is when politicians really roll up their sleeves and tackle the pressing issues concerning the nation today.  These issues more often then not require serious collaboration between politicians and political parties.  Lets delve into some of the current issues occupying the time of the leaders of this country.

May 4th was the 100th anniversary of the Canadian Navy and on this day I read an interesting article regarding a number of Canadian politicians that were trying to have the name of the Canadian Navy changed to the “Canadian Navy”.  That’s right, Canadian politicians are debating if the Canadian Navy should be called the Canadian Navy.  This debate actual isn’t as stupid as I’m making it sound.  The Canadian Navy has actually been called the Maritime Command since 1968 believe it or not.  What’s dumber then this debate is that someone thought it was a good idea to call the Navy the Maritime Command.  Everyday I drive past HMC Dockyard in Halifax and on the side of one of the main buildings it says in big red letters “Canada’s East Coast Navy”.  Even if you try to go to the Navy’s website it says “Canadian Navy” not “Maritime Command” on the top of the web page.  Consequently, my response to this debate is two fold.  First, why would someone waste brain energy thinking up an alternate name to Navy?  Second, if everyone (including the Navy) already calls the Maritime Command the Navy anyway, why is there a debate?  Just change the damn name before too many countries find out about our stupid Canadian logic.

This past week I heard on the radio that a few individuals from the Canadian Senate are trying to adopt a national bird.  I found this rather amuzing because if you think about it the American’s have already adopted the king of all birds (the eagle incase you’re an idiot) so any bird Canada adopts is just going to look inferior to the eagle.  Knowing Canadian’s, the bird chosen will likely be the robin so that will only contribute to Canada’s inferiority complex.  I think the only solutions to this debate are for the Senate to tone it down and remember that the Canadian Red Chamber is a joke and a waste of money in it’s present state or for Canada to adopt the pterodactyl as the national bird.  Best Coat of Arms ever!

The last very important point of discussion I have heard politicians talking about recently is Bill Shatner for the next Governor General.  I think this is a great idea!  Canada will become a force to be reckoned with.  Think about it, the feared Canadian Maritime Command, pterodacty coat of arms and Captain Kirk running the show.  I just shit my pants thinking about it.

Mark Wahlberg Talks to Athletes

Posted in Sports, Television with tags , , , , , , on May 9, 2010 by Jordan

This post is inspired by Saturday Night Lives sketch called “Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals”, I call this one “Mark Wahlberg Talks to Athletes”

“Hey, I’m Mark Wahlberg… you guys know me.  I use to be called Marky Mark.  That’s right, Marky Mark. Let’s go talk to some athletes”

“Hey Tiger Woods.  You’re not a real Tiger are you?  You don’t look like one?  What’s that all about?  I heard you pulled out of the Playa’s Championship.  Was that because you were confused by the name of the tournament and were disappointed that there weren’t any girls there?  I played golf in an episode of Entourage once.  I produce Entourage.  That’s pretty cool.  Alright, say hi to your motha for me.”

“Ok, now I’m gonna talk to a hockey playa.”

“Hey Johan, I’m Mark Wahlberg.  Johan’s a pretty gay name what’s up with that?  Is it French or something?  I heard they call you the mule.  I talked to a donkey once.  That was pretty awesome.  I like donkeys and now I like mules.  Hey, did you ever see The Departed?  I was in that.  Well… say hi to your motha.”

“Now I’m gonna talk to Shaq.”

“Hey Shaq, you know me I was in We Own the Night, that was a good movie.  I like your head, it’s totally bald and smooth.  Did you see how much hair I had in Rock Star? That was an awesome movie.  You know how they call you The Diesel?  Do you drive a diesel car?  I don’t.   Your feet are huge… what’s that all about?  Alright, well…. say hi to your motha for me.”

“Ok now I’m going to talk to Michael Phelps.”

“Hi Michael Phelps you’re a swimmer right?  That’s cool.  Did you see me swim in the ice cold water in the Italian Job?  That water wasn’t actually that cold… the ice was Styrofoam.  Hey, you smoked pot one time.  Do you still?  Cause I do.  What’s up with the intense face?  I’m pretty intense.  You want to see me do push ups?  Hey, you eat a lot right?  What’s up with that?  I don’t.  Alright, cool… say hi to your motha for me.”

Hardcore Parkour!

Posted in Education with tags , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2010 by Jordan

Last summer I took two of my nieces to play at my old elementary school’s playground.  Upon arrival, I was surprised at the new playground equipment that the school had.  Gone are the days of jungle gyms, aluminum slides accessed by a vertical ladder, teeter-totters, and hard ground to brace a fall.  Now kids have padded foam ground under the equipment, slides accessed by an incline plane with railings on either side and a 3D Xs and Os game build right into the equipment.

I say balderdash to all this new fancy and safe equipment.  What are kids going to learn if they don’t break their wrists on the jungle gym, burn their legs on the sun-baked aluminum slide or bruise their balls because the guy on the bottom of the teeter-totter jumped off while you were 7 feet above the ground?

The answer to this is more parkour!  Schools should be setting up outrageous objects throughout the school grounds and encouraging kids to use their creativity to master those obstacles.  The farmers from my neck of the woods would say there is no better way to learn a kid then to have the kid get hurt.  A kid sprains an ankle parkouring from one roof top to another.  Farmer says, “That’ll learn ya.”  A kid gives himself a concussion because he does a back flip of a wall while parkouring and lands on their head.  Farmer says, “That’ll learn ya.”

The kids have to learn.  Can we please teach them?

More Parkour is the answer.

“Hard Core Parkour!”

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