Forest Fire Warning: EXTREME!

My gossip insider tells me that Lindsay Lohan’s first week in prison wasn’t the best.  I can’t really imagine prison being anything but sweet but apparently the criminals at Lynnwood Correctional Facility welcomed the 24-year-old gearbox by simultaneously chanting “Fire Crotch” from their respective cells.  Lohan was apparently so rattled by the situation she begged the prison guards for a new Venus Goddess razor so she could neutralize the situation.  The guards, rightfully skeptical of Lohan’s intentions, inquired if she planned to hurt herself with the razor.  Lohan assured them that her intentions were genuine. The guards then responded, “Liar, Liar, Crotch on Fire!” and promptly threw her in solitary confinement indefinitely… bush and all.

Man, prison sounds tough!

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