Fartsquare, Fartsquare, We All Scream for Fartsquare!

Social media and social networks consume our daily lives.  A prime example of this is that at this very moment you are reading this ridiculous blog that specializes in wiener and fart commentary.  There is virtually nothing you can’t learn about someone from social networks.  Everything from a person’s political views to their relationship status, their music preferences to what they did the night before are readily available on social network sites like Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and Ping.  Despite the intricate personal details provided on these social networks, they all fail to provide an outlet for the most personal and common function of humans… Farting.  That is until now.

A new app is available for the iphone called fartsquare, which is a geolocating app that allows individuals to share not only the location of their farts but also the smell and quality of them.  I personally think Fartbook™ would have been a better name but I didn’t invent it so I guess I’ll save the name Fartbook™ for something else.

I’m sure there are people out there (less sophisticated people then readers of The Whole Ball of Wax) that think sharing when and where you fart is not only disgusting but also far too personal to share on a social network.  To these people I say, “Thank you for telling me when you work out, where you are drinking, when you are not feeling well, what the weather is like, what you did last weekend, that you are sitting at home, that you are available if anyone wants to call or text you, that you are mad at someone but don’t want to come out and say who it is exactly, what you just ate and if it was good or not, what you are watching on T.V. , etc. etc. If you think people are interested in this boring shit there is a good chance the when and where of a fart will also peak the interest of people. If nothing else it will give people a giggle when their phones notify them that Jordan just farted at the corner of Main and Wallace and it smelled like a shipping container used to smuggle immigrants from Bangladesh.”

There is nothing too personal or private in this world anymore so get use to it!  I would also like to point out that I farted about 8 times while writing this post, they all smelled like a mouse crawled up my butt and died and that they forced the LC to vacate the room.

Find me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and look for me soon on fartsquare… as soon as I figure out if it is actually real or not.

2 Responses to “Fartsquare, Fartsquare, We All Scream for Fartsquare!”

  1. hmm…no more wasted farts, I like the concept.

  2. Amen Jord!! I seriously can’t stop laughing at this one!!

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