Archive for October, 2010

Jimmy Eat Good

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , on October 18, 2010 by Jordan

I went from being a luke fan of Jimmy Eat World to a big fan thanks to their performance on the Dean Blundell Show this morning on 102.1 The Edge.  In particular, it was their acoustic version of ‘Coffee and Cigarettes’ that resonated with me.  The combination of the simple chords played on an acoustic guitar, the almost haunting backup vocals and the relatable lyrics of this song is what sold me on the band.  With so much garbage music dominating the mainstream music scene these days it is nice to see real bands like Jimmy Eat World play real songs about real things that actually mean something.


This contrasts greatly to the stellar music produced by that bitch slapping Justin Bieber who actually references Twitter and TMZ multiple times in his song ‘Kiss and Tell” and Lady Gaga who can’t sing a song without saying “Disco Stick” in it.  We get it…. You’re talking about a boner… Just say boner from now on.


Leave it to Bieber

Posted in Education with tags , , , , , , , , on October 18, 2010 by Jordan

There was an interesting article in the Globe and Mail today called ‘Failing Boys: The Endangered Male Teacher’.  The gist of the article basically links the failures of male students to the fact that male teachers in an elementary school are about as common as Kate Moss at a Chinese buffet.   In addition, the article touches on the social stigma that school and learning has become a “girl thing” due to the lack of male role models in the school.  With one in two marriages ending in divorce and girls getting knocked up at a young age it’s not uncommon for young boys to grow up having no contact with adult males (I’m not talking about the Catholic church kind adult contact either) in their pre-adolescent and adolescent lives.

To be perfectly honest I think this theory is completely overrated.  Kids don’t need direct contact with male role models in their life anymore because there are more then enough in the media.  Think about it.  You have Tiger Woods banging average looking Perkins waitresses in Florida, Brett Favre texting pictures of his wiener to a chick that is way out of his league and Justin Bieber bitch slapping a 12-year-old infant because he beat him at Laser Tag.

From these three public role models a young male can learn at lest three important life lessons.  First, looks aren’t everything – a woman’s true beauty is within.  Second, shoot for the stars – don’t place limits on yourself.  Last, stand up for yourself – don’t take shit from your peers/children.

There you go.  What can a male teacher possible provide a young male student that TMZ can’t?

The answer is nothing.

So if you are a single mother or a lesbian mother wanting to provide your little boy with a male influence just sit him down in front of the computer and type in and I guarantee your child will get all the male influence they need.

Commonwealth Gamezzzzzzzzz

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , on October 18, 2010 by Jordan

I read an article last week on stating that Canadian summer athletics had taken a giant step backwards after being pushed from the overall medal podium at the Commonwealth Games by host India.  Apparently this was the first time in 48 years Canada failed to finish in the toppppppppppzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz







Oh I’m sorry I fell asleep attempting to give a shit about the Commonwealth Games in Delhi.  Never has there been an athletic spectacle that is a bigger waste of money then the Commonwealth Games.  I am an avid supporter of Canadian athletics and love watching Canadian’s compete in international competitions but any two week athletic competition involving summer sports where Canada contends to be one of the top three nations participating loses it’s legitimacy as a reputable international competition.  This is just my opinion but I have never been as uninterested in an international sporting event as I was for the 2010 Commonwealth Games in Delhi, India.

Note the outstanding crowds in the photo provided.

Now That’s a Spoon!

Posted in History with tags , , , , , , , on October 13, 2010 by Jordan

As I write this, the 30th miner is being raised to the surface in Chili after being trapped in a collapsed mine for almost 70 days.

To be perfectly honest I haven’t followed this story exceptionally close.  I was aware that the situation existed but other then that I wasn’t overly interested in the story.  For 69 days there wasn’t really anything to report other then on the very slow progress of digging a rescue shaft.  However, I did tune into CNN this morning to watch and listen to the play by play of the capsule being raised and lowered in the rescue process.  Although this rescue operation was a tremendous feet this was about as interesting as a mayoral election.  Despite this, I did hear a good joke about the rescue capsule today.

What do the rescue capsule and Jeff Finger have in common today?

Answer:  They are both heading to the miners (minors).

Awesome jokes aside, it sounds like the 33 Chilean miners might have actually had it better in the collapsed mine for 69 days then they do in their actual lives.  Various foods, toiletries, clothes and other goods were continuously lowered down to the miners to keep their unfortunate situation as tolerable as possible.

Apparently, there was a waterfall in the cave that allowed the men to shower daily so soap and shampoo were sent down.  The men wanted to look good for their loved ones upon resurfacing so they asked for shoe polish and razors so they could shave.  The images I saw of the men resurrecting from the collapsed mine showed men that were healthy and full of vitality.  I did hear one guy might have obtained the black lung though… cough…. cough.

The most interesting thing about this whole situation is that apparently all 33 men have made a pact to not talk about their first 17 days in the collapsed mine together.  It seems awfully strange that they have chosen to only talk about days 18 to 69.  The speculation is that they are saving that part of the story for a book or perhaps a movie.  That may be the case but if I were to hazard a guess I would say there is one reason they made a pact to not talk about the first 17 days.  It starts with an “or” and ends with a “gy”.  I’m no scientist but I would say humans do crazy things when facing death.  These Chilean miners are no exception.  I’m sure it started out as a 33-man spoon in an attempt to stay warm and one thing led to another.

Nonetheless, it is nice to see a disastrous situation turn into a success story, as it appears all 33 men will be safely above ground by midnight.

Bedroom Tour

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2010 by Jordan

Very sorry that Chris Athey videos keep getting posted but we at The Whole Ball of Wax just think she is just the best.  This video really gives as an idea of the person behind hit songs like “Sunny D and Rum (YUM YUM)”… A Behind the Music if you will.  Enjoy the video and then enjoy the analysis of the video.

Wood Panelling is very appealing to the eye.

Brett Michaels is the best… but Blade is better.

She lives in West Virginia (West Virginia Mountaineers).

A Democrat.

Looney Toon curtains always complete a room.

Crushing on Hue Grant.

Makes her bed.

Her bottle collection consists of 3 Snapple bottles… not bad… not great either.

Her hand looks like it’s swollen… but it’s not.

Her left thumb nail is really dirty.

She has to sit down after 3 minutes… probably because she is tired.

She really likes Brett Michaels and Poison.

One hell of a set of pipes on her.

She thinks showing us her T.V. in AUX mode is interesting footage for a minute and thirty seconds.

Great Miss Piggy impression.

I Will Wear… You… Out.

Posted in People, Sports with tags , , , , , , on October 8, 2010 by Jordan

It’s recently come to surface that professional skank and former Tiger Woods mistress Joslyn James is taking orders for a sex tape of her and the big cat.  I believe the tape is to be releases in mid-November and will likely make that wretched parasite James a pretty penny.  This could actually be good for Tiger though.  If Paris Hilton can become richer and more famous after releasing multiple sex tapes surely Tiger can win a golf tournament and make watching golf enjoyable once again. 

Although the scrutinizing public has to wait until mid-November to view the graphic video, we at The Whole Ball of Wax called in a few favours from Joslyn James (none of which we are overly proud of) and obtained the video more then a full month before everyone else. 


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