Life Alert for Life

This world is an unpredictable place and one can never be too safe and caution while living in it, that’s why I just made a call to Life Alert.  Life Alert’s cutting edge and state of the art commercials convinced me that trouble is always right around the corner and that I can never be too prepared for dangerous situations.  If I had a nickel for every time I slipped in the shower and was unable to get up I would have zero extra cents.   However, Life Alert works like insurance.  You may not need it now but when you do… it will be sweet.

 

Back in the day when I was a Sandwich Artist working at Subway we used Life Alert on a daily basis.  For example, a guy asked for extra cheese one day.  I informed him that it would be an extra 50 cents for extra cheese.  He made it very clear that he would be taking the extra cheese but would not be paying the extra 50 cents.  As a result, I was forced to dial into Life Alert.

 

The conversation went something like this:

 

“Sandwich Artist Jordan, this is Life Alert.  Are you OK?”

“Not really, I think this guy wants extra cheese for free!”

“Hold on let me check… THIS IS LIFE ALERT, EXTRA CHEESE COSTS 50 CENTS.  PAY THE EXTRA 50 CENTS OR LEAVE NOW!”

“But Tim Horton’s gives extra cheese for free.”

“I FIND THAT VERY HARD TO BELIEVE, THE PROFIT MARGINS OF PROVIDING EXTRA CHEESE FOR FREE WOULD REDUCE THE TOTAL REVENUE OF A COMPANY TO MERE PENNIES!”

“No no, Tim Horton’s makes all their revenue off of coffee sales.”

“REALLY?  WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE TIM HORTON’S HAS IT ALL FIGURED OUT.”

“Yeah, they have a pretty good operation over there.”

“IT SOUNDS LIKE IT!… WELL… HAVE A GOOD DAY.”

 

So then I gave the guy extra cheese for free… All thanks to Life Alert!

 

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