Archive for the Education Category

Molotov Cocktail Anyone?

Posted in Education with tags on August 30, 2010 by Jordan

I attended a riveting work function yesterday on my day off which is exactly what I wanted to do on the nicest day of the summer.  During the stimulating gathering one of my co-workers mentioned that when she was in high school someone threw a Molotov cocktail into the school’s library burning it to the ground.  This was actually a pretty interesting conversation for a work function so many follow up questions ensued.  One of the follow up questions enquired about the repercussions for the individual who committed the crime.   It turns out that Molotov Cocktail Boy went around in advance telling everyone that he was going to throw a Molotov cocktail into the library and burn it to the ground.  So, when he actually did it there wasn’t a big investigation and the dummy was expelled.  My co-worker ensured me that he wasn’t a very good student so it wasn’t a big deal.  I’m sitting there thinking, “You mean to tell me that a guy that goes around school telling everyone that he’s going to throw a Molotov cocktail into the library in advance then throws a Molotov cocktail into the library wasn’t a good student?  Shocking.”

I can envision how the student’s meeting with the principal went.  The principal sits the kid down and says, “I’ve got good news and bad news.  The good news is that you are mixing various chemicals and liquids at a university level, which is enough to earn you the schools chemistry award.  The bad news is, you are mixing chemicals and liquids at a university level, you clearly have mental issues, you burnt down half the school, you’re going to jail, I’m expelling you from this school and your not going to get that chemistry award.  However, you are quite skilled at chemistry so you might want to pursue that passion after you get out of jail.”

Notice the sandwich feedback here, the kids an idiot and his life is ruined but the principal leaves the kid thinking that he is a skilled and promising chemist and that there is still hope for him.  What the kid is not aware of at this point is that there is no hope for him and he will likely be the mama in jail.


Rape is Rarely Funny…

Posted in Education with tags on August 6, 2010 by Jordan

The only time rape becomes acceptable to joke about is when it is unsuccessful and the people involved unintentionally turn their story into a Mad TV skit. 

Check out this video

You definitely have a rape problem in your neighbour hood when you need to start hiding your husbands from rapists.  Hardly anyone’s husbands ever got raped where I came from so you know the rapists in this guy’s neighbour hood mean business. 

Living in the projects must be tough!

No good video on youtube goes by without being turned into a remix anymore and this one is no exception.


Perfect Parenting

Posted in Education with tags , , , , on July 30, 2010 by Jordan

I came across this video a couple of days ago and it is worth a watch because of its reassuring message.

Out of all the movies a grade 2 class could recreate I can’t think of a more perfect choice!  This was a bang on recreation of not only the dialogue from this famous Scarface scene but it is also a bang on recreation of the Scarface set.  Note the pile of popcorn on the desk replacing the giant pile of coke that is on Tony’s desk in the actual movie… Perfect!

There are a couple of things that really spoke to me when watching this video.  I loved when the classic looking nerdy teacher was spotted on stage directing the armed small child towards his classmate so he could shoot him in the back.  While obtaining my Bachelor of  Education degree we were continuously told to encourage students to emulate gangsters, drug dealers and murders so props to this teacher for actually transferring the practicality of this message into the actual classroom.  I also really enjoyed the line from Tony, “I’ve got a fudging joke for a wife.”  I think this is a perfect message to send to young boys.  These young kids are going to be men some day and the sooner they learn the appropriate way to talk to women the better.  So, I think it’s safe to say these kids are on the right track.  The last point of note is that it’s great to see parents so enthused about their children’s school play.  My parent’s always attended my bush school plays and acted like they were enthused… I’m sure they weren’t… well I’m sure at least half of them weren’t that enthused but it was always nice to see them in the crowd.  These kids clearly have the same support I had as a young lad.  However, their parents did provide them with something my parents never did.  I don’t recall my parents ever whistling and yelling, “YEAH!” after I shot one of my buddies on stage and told him that he “fudged with the wrong guy.”

I guess the whole point of this post is to state that we can all rest easy knowing that kids are learning what they need to learn in school to become productive members of society upon their exit from an academic setting.  Today’s children are being nurtured by histories finest generation of teachers and parents who are clearly committed to fostering a greater human race.  I conclude this post knowing full well that the world is in good hands and we have nothing to fear.

Hey! Hey! Hey! What is Going on Here?

Posted in Education with tags , , , on July 26, 2010 by Jordan

I was walking home from work today and I saw a driver-training car that was a smart car.  I thought that was a rather good choice for a driver-training car.  When you first learn to play soccer or basketball you learn with a smaller ball so it only makes sense that you learn how to drive with a smaller car.  It would definitely make learning to parallel park easier… well, for most of us… but not all (you know who you are).  Anyway, when I saw this tiny driver-training car I instantly thought of the driver-training car in Saved By the Bell.  Were they Derek Ferrel with that thing or what?  It was a three-wheeled golf cart and they actually drove it in the school.  What are you going to learn driving in Bayside High School? There are only two hallways and a staircase in that school and the hallways are both like 20 feet long.  There were a lot of hazards though.  Nerds climbing out of lockers, flying footballs, skateboarders and of course oil slicks from Slaters mullet.

The research staff at The Who Ball of Wax worked extensively and tirelessly to find the following clip so we can all recall just how budget and bush Saved By the Bell actually was.

LGBT? Is that some kind of new sandwich?

Posted in Education with tags , , , , , , , on July 25, 2010 by Jordan

With so much to do on the weekends in Halifax I struggled to pick between the two options yesterday.  After much pondering, I settled on taking in my second career Pride Parade.

The only previous Pride Parade I had ever attended was in Vancouver, which has a rather large and prominent LGBT community.  If I recall correctly, it was the 30th Anniversary of the Pride Parade in the city and the Parade held nothing back as it went on for more then 2-hours.  The jaw dropping floats never stopped and if they did it was to make way for naked old men with rainbow wigs on their heads and overgrown pubs atop their wangs.  Despite the shock and awe of it all, I have always maintained that the Vancouver Pride Parade was the best and happiest parade I had ever been to.

With the Pride Parade in Vancouver entrenched in my memory, I was unsure of what to expect from the ass backwards residence of Halifax who fail to see the progressive benefits of replacing some busy stop light intersections with roundabouts.  With Halifax still thinking it’s 1950, I half expected to see the evangelical community to be standing along the parade route waving bibles and crosses shouting moronic sayings like, “It’s Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve!”  However, the community of Halifax pleasantly surprised me.  There was a very large and joyous crowd in attendance to show their support for the LGBT community.  People waving rainbow flags and wearing beads around their necks.  It was a nice parade and reassuring to see such large community support.

Although, I enjoyed the parade it was VERY tame in comparison to the Pride Parade I watched in Vancouver two years ago.  This is an outrageous thing for a straight guy to say, but it just wasn’t gay enough for me.  There were no floats loaded with greased up guys in nothing but tight gitch dancing wildly as if they were at a rave and not in the middle of a parade.  There were no women with boobs at their waists; in fact, there was no nudity at all.  The local Halifax gay bars did their best but it paled in comparison to what I saw in Vancouver.  It felt as though everyone was holding back and not totally comfortable participating and presenting themselves in the parade. It’s ok though… baby steps Halifax… baby steps.  Once we get that roundabout on Quinpool maybe we’ll get some gayer floats in the Pride Parade.

Fingers Crossed!

The Whole Ball of Wax salutes all the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) readers and non-readers out there.  May you all be comfortable in your own skin and receive the love and support of those who surround you.

Hardcore Parkour!

Posted in Education with tags , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2010 by Jordan

Last summer I took two of my nieces to play at my old elementary school’s playground.  Upon arrival, I was surprised at the new playground equipment that the school had.  Gone are the days of jungle gyms, aluminum slides accessed by a vertical ladder, teeter-totters, and hard ground to brace a fall.  Now kids have padded foam ground under the equipment, slides accessed by an incline plane with railings on either side and a 3D Xs and Os game build right into the equipment.

I say balderdash to all this new fancy and safe equipment.  What are kids going to learn if they don’t break their wrists on the jungle gym, burn their legs on the sun-baked aluminum slide or bruise their balls because the guy on the bottom of the teeter-totter jumped off while you were 7 feet above the ground?

The answer to this is more parkour!  Schools should be setting up outrageous objects throughout the school grounds and encouraging kids to use their creativity to master those obstacles.  The farmers from my neck of the woods would say there is no better way to learn a kid then to have the kid get hurt.  A kid sprains an ankle parkouring from one roof top to another.  Farmer says, “That’ll learn ya.”  A kid gives himself a concussion because he does a back flip of a wall while parkouring and lands on their head.  Farmer says, “That’ll learn ya.”

The kids have to learn.  Can we please teach them?

More Parkour is the answer.

“Hard Core Parkour!”

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