Archive for the Music Category

Perfect Drink for the Start of Fall

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , on September 23, 2010 by Jordan

This is an absolute epic original that is equally as good if not better then the crap that makes it to the top of the Billboard Charts (Am actually serious about this too). 

I would like to thank Hub for pointing out that she does indeed have two front teeth.  It appears she also has one or two teeth in the back as well.  Probably for grinding up discount meat. 

It is also worth noting that she has a dog.  I would like to make a teeth comparison between the two. 

Prediction… the dog wins in a landslide.

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Lovely Voice, Lovely Face

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , on September 22, 2010 by Jordan

At the time I first watched this video there were just under 500, 000 views of it on youtube.  The quality of this video makes me think that I’m doing something wrong in life.  Rather than taking the low brow approach on this one and pointing out the obvious greatness of this video I’ll point out the hidden gems.

1.  I’m not 100% but I think the mascots from the Vancouver Olympics might be over her right shoulder.

2.  Notice the large picture of Dale Earnhartd Sr. on her wall when she leans forward.

3.  Impeccable air guitar.

4.  The chicken slash bus driver dance she does during the outro.

5.  Her uncanny ability to accidently harmonize with the actual song playing in the background.

6.  The drool sliding down the right corner of her mouth.

7.  Her very profound and distinguished mustache.

8.  Her “bye bye now” comment at the end.

9.  The fact that there are more videos of her on youtube.

10. I have to state the obvious here…SHE ONLY HAS ONE TOOTH!

“We Used to Wait”

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , on August 31, 2010 by Jordan

I came across a rather novel idea for a music video today.  Arcade Fire has essentially found a way to personalize their “We Used to Wait” video with the use of Google Earth and Google Street View.  If you go to the Arcade Fire website via Google Chrome and type in your address, your neighbourhood and house appears in the video.  Not only is this a pretty deadly concept it’s an unreal tune as well.  The one downfall to this video is that if you happen to live in Listowel, Ontario or some other town in the middle of no where you’re going to have to use someone else’s address.  Google Earth does not yet recognize the presence of Listowel below the clouds so you’re shit out of luck.

Enjoy!

Lobster Rockstar

Posted in Music with tags , , , , on August 2, 2010 by Jordan

As far as I know the entire country is celebrating a fake holiday right now.  In Halifax they call it Natal Day which is apparently the birthday of Halifax and Dartmouth.  I’m sure it’s not actually either cities birthday but I’ll take the day of work regardless.  The neighbouring cities threw a reasonable party complete with beer tents and free concerts.  The one concert featured Matt Mays so I decided to take it in.  They played a pretty good show (although the sound system was junk for an outdoor concert) and included “Cocaine Cowgirl” in the set list, which is my favourite tune of theirs by far.

As the Matt Mays set concluded and the sky filled with darkness I was reminded of the Pearl Jam video  “Even Flow”.  During the solo of that video Eddie Vedder scales a wall, climbs on some pipes and then vaults himself into the crowd from a private box.  It’s pretty epic and still makes me wish I were a rock star today.  That said, bands on the East Coast do things similar to the Pearl Jam video but incorporate a nautical theme.  For example, half way through the last Matt Mays song, Matt Mays disappeared from the stage momentarily only to be seen moments later scaling a buoy on the shore of the harbor.  That would have been pretty cool on its own but Matt Mays proceeded to set a lobster trap, toss it in the harbor, and fish for mackerel while the trap soaked.  All the while, fireworks were raining down on the hated Mays.  By the time the fireworks were over, Matt Mays was serving freshly boiled lobster and smoked mackerel to the front three rows.  Epic!

Whoa, That’s a Full Rainbow… All the Way.

Posted in Music with tags on July 18, 2010 by Jordan

An analytical breakdown of Double Rainbow

11 seconds – Actually it’s not “a double rainbow all the way.”  It is more of a single rainbow all the way with a faint double rainbow one third of the way.

51 seconds – Actually it’s not even close to looking like “a triple rainbow” because as previously mentioned it’s not even a full double rainbow.

1 minute – In order for a rainbow to go “all the way across the sky” would you not have to be directly under the rainbow as it stretched from horizon to horizon?  Also, I don’t think this is possible.

1 minute 19 seconds – “What does this mean?”  It means an optical and meteorological phenomenon has been created that caused a spectrum of light to appear in the sky when the sun shone onto droplets of moisture in the earth’s atmosphere. These sun-touched droplets took the form of a multicoloured arc, with red on the outer part of the arch and violet on the inner section of the arch.  A rainbow spans a continuous spectrum of colours; the distinct bands are an artifact of human colour vision… Although there is some science involved in understanding a rainbow, it’s not rocket science and something most people first learn about when they are five years old

1 minute 36 seconds – Interesting reaction…. A lot of things could be going on behind the camera right now.

1 minute 41 seconds – Crying is a very normal and acceptable reaction for a grown man upon seeing a rainbow.

2 minutes 30 seconds – Nope, still just a single complete rainbow with a faint double rainbow going about one third of the way.

2 minutes 44, 51, 57 seconds – Please blow your nose!

3 minutes – No, you are too much!

3 minutes 10 seconds – Note at this point it is now “a single rainbow all the way” with a faint “double rainbow” going about one twentieth of the way.

3 minutes 20 seconds – Is he gasping for breath or did he just chug a drink?

Double Rainbow song T. Pain style.

Is Victoria Beckham Derek Foreal?

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2010 by Jordan

Every time I see Victoria Beckham (pictured taking a nap on a work bench) on T.V., I do three things: cringe, laugh and turn the channel.  Is she serious?  My god, how do people even give her the time of day anymore?  The Spice Girls and David Beckham reached their peak in 1998!  So I have to ask, why do I keep seeing this skeleton with eyes like a deer on T.V.?

Some would say, “Well, she was in the Spice Girls.”  And I would say, “Yeah, but she was the worst one.”  Others might say, “Well, she’s married to David Beckham.”  And I would say, “Yeah, but he’s washed up.”  Some would even say, “She’s super hot!”  And I would say, “Yeah you’re right she is super hot…if being hot means looking like a freshly planted sapling.”

One of my guilty pleasures in life is watching the audition episodes of American Idol because Simon is such an ass to people that waste his time it honestly makes my day.  For those who don’t watch the nonsense that is American Idol, they often have a guest judge to assist with the main judges in the audition episodes.  There were some respectable music people involved, Shania Twain, Mary J. Blige, Avril Lavigne, and Katy Perry to name a few.  Then one episode Victoria Beckham was the guest judge.  Victoria Beckham selecting talented singers makes about as much sense as taking marital advice from Tiger Woods.  Sure, she was a Spice Girl and Tiger Woods was married but they sucked at it!  However, I have to give Victoria Beckham credit, she stuck to her guns.  Well-dressed people would stand in front of the judges and basically shit on the stage and Victoria would say things in her stupid accent like, “Oh my god, I just love yaw shoes and yaw hai!  It’s a yes faw me faw shaw.” Simon would then look at her like she’s retarded… because she is and say something like, “What does her appearance have to do with it?” And Victoria would say, “It’s pawt of the total package.”

It was at this point that I realized that Victoria Beckham was not in search of the next American Idol but in search of the next Posh Spice. The show would be called America’s Next Top Imported Bag of Bones and it would be the search for the woman out there who lacks musical talent, dresses well and is willing to have as many surgeries as it takes to have eyes that look like a deer’s blinded by head lights and clavicles that are so pointy that they must be checked prior to entering airport security.

“Get out of my face Victoria Beckham and get off my T.V.!”

P.S. your husband sounds like a frail old woman when he talks.

The Sun is Gone but I Have a Light

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 5, 2010 by Jordan

April 5th always marks the day the music died for me in many ways.  It was sixteen years ago today that Kurt Cobain died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head and the band Nirvana ceased to exist.  Although in hindsight it appeared the band’s days were numbered and were only likely to release another album or two, I would have loved to be listening to that album today.

Coincidently, one of my other favourite grunge bands from the Seattle area also ceased to exist as we knew it on April 5th when Layne Staley of Alice in Chains died from a speedball overdose.  Alice in Chains has continued to record new albums in Layne Staley’s absence but in my opinion will never be the same without him.

Some recommended Kurt Cobain/Nirvana reading material is Come As You Are by Michael Azerrad and Heavier Than Heaven by Charles R. Cross.

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