Archive for Canada Games

City and Colour can Suck it and Keep on Suckin’ it!

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2011 by Jordan

The 2011 Canada Games concluded in Halifax yesterday after two weeks of competition.  I took in a couple of hockey games and watched some long track speed skating at the outdoor oval one afternoon. The actual sports of the Canada Games did little for me (the athletes were young teenagers and the elite level of competition just wasn’t there for the most part) but I was a fan of the nightly free concerts put on by the games. Throughout the two weeks I took in four of the free shows, including; Joel Plaskett, Sloan, Hey Rosetta and City and Colour.  The concerts were all outside and other than Joel Plaskett’s show on Valentines Day the temperature was pretty cold for every concert.  However, it wasn’t until City and Colour took the stage last night that I heard a single band complain about the cold temperatures and essential let it ruin their show.

Going into last night, I had seen City and Colour play once before.  It was on other a brisk September evening a couple of years ago in Vancouver’s Stanley Park.  At this concert, Dallas Green commented after every song about the cold and how it kept affecting the tune of his guitar.  As their first song came to a close last night, I turned to my brother and said, “I guarantee you this band complains about the temperature and says that it keeps putting their guitars out of tune.”  Within five seconds of me saying that Dallas Green says, “We’re going to be taking a little more time than usual between songs because the temperature keeps putting our guitars out of tune.”  It was nice that Dallas didn’t make a liar out of me but he and his band followed that comment up with countless others like it throughout the night in addition to long delays between songs, stopping a song halfway through it because Dallas’s guitar went out of tune and taking a five minute break to warm up after playing just four songs.

I get that playing in -10˚ C temperatures is not ideal and that playing the guitar is tough when your hands are cold.  However, City and Colour did themselves no favors last night.  They failed to put their hipster image aside for one night and dress appropriately for the frigid temperatures.  Dallas was wearing a denim jacket with a scarf while the other guitar player wore a three-piece suit and a top hat.  To me, the incessant complaining fell on deaf ears for a host of reasons.  One, the girl that opened up for City and Colour in the exact same temperatures didn’t say a word about how cold she was, probably due to the fact that she wore a winter jacket and a toque.  Two, Sloan played in temperatures close to -30˚ C the week before and absolutely killed their set without muttering a word about how cold they were.  Again, these guys dressed appropriately by wearing parkas, toques and gloves with the fingertips cut out.  Last, City and Colour had several fans blowing hot air on them throughout the entire show.  From what I could tell, Sloan had just one bush league heater on the stage that the one guitar player occasionally heated his hands up with in-between songs.

I’m not saying that City and Colour is a bad band because they’re not…. they write some of the best “sui watch” songs in the business.  What I am saying is that they are a bunch of pussies and complainers that can’t handle less than ideal playing conditions. I have now seen City and Colour play two outdoor shows, neither of which was without complaints about the temperature.  Consequently, if you plan on watching an outdoor City and Colour show you best not waste your time unless the outside air temperature equals room temperature (roughly 20-21˚ C).  Because of this, City and Colour can suck it and Leah Miller can keep on suckin’ it!

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Battle of the Butts

Posted in Philosophy with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 18, 2010 by Jordan

I would love to find a way to add up all the time I have wasted in my life waiting for public transit because I am sure that it is a great deal!  Being dependent on the bus and having to share my personal space with many of societies most retched people is not what I would exactly call fun but it does afford me a great deal of time to ponder various thoughts and ideas.  I would like to share one of these instances.

The other day I was waiting for the bus after work so that I could go home.  It was a rather nice day and as per usual the bus stop was quite busy.  Where I grab the bus to go home is actually a bus loop not a bus stop.  For those that don’t know the difference, a bus loop is typically the end or start of the line for many bus routes (so lots of bus traffic and thus lots of people).  Regardless, as I waited for the bus I was listened to some tunes minded my own business as I usually do.  As I mentioned it was nice outside so I wasn’t overly disheartened by the lateness of the bus on this particular day.  The bus delay actually allowed me to be swept away by my thought.

It is typical at the bus loop to have a host of smokers in your presence.  As a non-smoker, I’m not overly enthralled to be in the presence of a smoker’s smoke but what can you do when you are outside in public?  However, on this day there was an underbelly that proceeded to chain smoke and pace about the bus loop.  The bus loop is fairly large but he decided to concentrate his pacing in and around my personal space.  He basically walked constant figure eights around me until his plume of smoke made me look like Pig Pen from Charlie Brown. It was at this point I thought to myself, “this is such bullshit!”  I quickly scanned the loop to see if there were any “No Smoking” signs around… there were not.  So, I really had no grounds to tell him to beat it.  So this is what I did.

I took another quick scan of the area to see if there were any “No Farting” signs… there were not.  I had been holding in a pretty good fart for the better part of the afternoon in an attempt to save my office mate the displeasure of smelling one of my unique and vile farts.  I then proceeded to pace around the bus loop while constantly farting.  This fart was so long and fluid that if farts had colour it would have looked like a rhythmic gymnasts’ ribbon dancing ever so elegantly through the air.  I swear it was no longer then 3 seconds after I returned to my original position that I saw everyone around me rub their noses desperately seeking the scent of something clean and fresh.  I stood there desperately wanting someone to say something… but to no avail.

The point is, if it’s ok for strangers to infiltrate your nose and lungs with their smoke on a daily basis, why is it taboo to shit yourself in public and act like nothing abnormal just happened?  I have yet to hear of anyone getting lung cancer from inhaling too many second hand farts or of a mother giving her baby asthma because she smelled too many of her own farted during her pregnancy.

Think about that!

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