Archive for CFL

CFL… So Hot Right Now… So Hot

Posted in Sports with tags , , on September 14, 2010 by Jordan

The CFL showed its legitimacy as a league yet again today when the Edmonton Eskimos hired sexual assaulter Eric Tillman as their new GM.  Apparently the talent pool is so small for people actually wanting to work in the CFL that the teenage diddler was the best the Eskimos could round up after a marathon search.  Tillman sexually assaulted his kid’s 16-year old baby sitter after listening to Hayden’s “Bad as They Seem” last summer.  Apparently he wanted to prove the lyrics in the song could be more then just a dream.   In addition to playing grab ass with teenage girls, Tillman was a prescription drug addict at the time of the incident.  Tillman has obviously had ample time to overcome his vices after pleading guilty to his charges earlier this year.

In addition to the Eskimos hiring Tillman, the city of Edmonton also employed the services of Anton Dodson today who came up with the city’s new slogan, “Hide ya kidz, Hide ya kidz babysitta, and hide ya pain medz cause evy buddy gettin assaulted up heya!”

Rattling Cages

Posted in Sports with tags on July 25, 2010 by Jordan

Every year I dread when the CFL season starts up and it’s not because I don’t like football.  I will watch an NFL game on Sundays but I just cannot get into watching or following the CFL. I have been to two CFL games in my life.  The first was the Grey Cup a few years back, which was actually kind of entertaining.  The second was the BC Lions home opener three years ago.  I recall watching one or two plays, the next thing I remembered were my buddies waking me up in the forth quarter so we could get an early start at the bar.  I have not been back to a CFL game since spending 50 bucks to take a nap.

There are two things that bother me the most about the CFL.  The first is that the CFL prides itself on having three down as opposed to four.  This is what makes the CFL junk in my opinion!  Having just three downs makes the league unbelievably predictable.  First down… run the ball.  Second down… throw the ball.  Third down… punt the ball.  I’m honestly not sure why quarterbacks even bother running the ball.  The field is the size of small lake so there is ample room for a receiver to find an open hole to catch the ball.   The CFL should just get rid of running backs entirely and add another receiver… that would be something to pride a league on.

The second thing that drives me crazy is that TSN’s coverage of the CFL is almost as extensive as their coverage of the NHL trade deadline (I’m not a fan of that either).  The CFL season occurs at a time when not much other then baseball is occurring in the sports world.  As a result, TSN has the time to debate and discuss the events of the CFL incessantly.  “What do the Eskimos have to do to win a game?” they discuss.  “Run the ball more.” “Pass the ball more.” “New coach to shuffle things up.” The CFL panel bats around all these ideas ALL THE TIME.  I don’t care about any of these ideas, their logic or reasoning.  Show me some golf highlights, a crash in racing, Serrina Williams’ huge ass, or John Daly’s huge ass.  I will take any type of sports highlight that does not show people with water melons on their heads, a practice at a high school football field, or a debate centered around the city of Ottawa trying to get yet another franchise and calling it the Roughriders…. “Ottawa, there are only seven names you can’t use and Roughriders is one of them… get that through your head!”

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