Archive for Commonwealth Games

Commonwealth Gamezzzzzzzzz

Posted in Sports with tags , , , , on October 18, 2010 by Jordan

I read an article last week on tsn.ca stating that Canadian summer athletics had taken a giant step backwards after being pushed from the overall medal podium at the Commonwealth Games by host India.  Apparently this was the first time in 48 years Canada failed to finish in the toppppppppppzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Oh I’m sorry I fell asleep attempting to give a shit about the Commonwealth Games in Delhi.  Never has there been an athletic spectacle that is a bigger waste of money then the Commonwealth Games.  I am an avid supporter of Canadian athletics and love watching Canadian’s compete in international competitions but any two week athletic competition involving summer sports where Canada contends to be one of the top three nations participating loses it’s legitimacy as a reputable international competition.  This is just my opinion but I have never been as uninterested in an international sporting event as I was for the 2010 Commonwealth Games in Delhi, India.

Note the outstanding crowds in the photo provided.

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Battle of the Butts

Posted in Philosophy with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 18, 2010 by Jordan

I would love to find a way to add up all the time I have wasted in my life waiting for public transit because I am sure that it is a great deal!  Being dependent on the bus and having to share my personal space with many of societies most retched people is not what I would exactly call fun but it does afford me a great deal of time to ponder various thoughts and ideas.  I would like to share one of these instances.

The other day I was waiting for the bus after work so that I could go home.  It was a rather nice day and as per usual the bus stop was quite busy.  Where I grab the bus to go home is actually a bus loop not a bus stop.  For those that don’t know the difference, a bus loop is typically the end or start of the line for many bus routes (so lots of bus traffic and thus lots of people).  Regardless, as I waited for the bus I was listened to some tunes minded my own business as I usually do.  As I mentioned it was nice outside so I wasn’t overly disheartened by the lateness of the bus on this particular day.  The bus delay actually allowed me to be swept away by my thought.

It is typical at the bus loop to have a host of smokers in your presence.  As a non-smoker, I’m not overly enthralled to be in the presence of a smoker’s smoke but what can you do when you are outside in public?  However, on this day there was an underbelly that proceeded to chain smoke and pace about the bus loop.  The bus loop is fairly large but he decided to concentrate his pacing in and around my personal space.  He basically walked constant figure eights around me until his plume of smoke made me look like Pig Pen from Charlie Brown. It was at this point I thought to myself, “this is such bullshit!”  I quickly scanned the loop to see if there were any “No Smoking” signs around… there were not.  So, I really had no grounds to tell him to beat it.  So this is what I did.

I took another quick scan of the area to see if there were any “No Farting” signs… there were not.  I had been holding in a pretty good fart for the better part of the afternoon in an attempt to save my office mate the displeasure of smelling one of my unique and vile farts.  I then proceeded to pace around the bus loop while constantly farting.  This fart was so long and fluid that if farts had colour it would have looked like a rhythmic gymnasts’ ribbon dancing ever so elegantly through the air.  I swear it was no longer then 3 seconds after I returned to my original position that I saw everyone around me rub their noses desperately seeking the scent of something clean and fresh.  I stood there desperately wanting someone to say something… but to no avail.

The point is, if it’s ok for strangers to infiltrate your nose and lungs with their smoke on a daily basis, why is it taboo to shit yourself in public and act like nothing abnormal just happened?  I have yet to hear of anyone getting lung cancer from inhaling too many second hand farts or of a mother giving her baby asthma because she smelled too many of her own farted during her pregnancy.

Think about that!

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