Archive for Drinking

Mad Men Drink at Work

Posted in History, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 14, 2010 by Jordan

The LC and I have recently taken a fancy to the AMC show Mad Men.  Set in the 1960s, Mad Men tells the story of an advertising agency and its employees on Madison Ave. in Manhattan.  Historical, political and social references put the overall plot into context but its characters and the development of those characters is what really drives Mad Men.

 

I posted an article called Excellent Adventures several months ago about how I thought it would be sweet to travel back in time to a significant historical period and influence that period with the knowledge and technology of the 21st century (No, I did not consider the butterfly effect when I wrote the original post).  After watching the first two seasons of Mad Men, it would please me greatly to throw on my veil of ignorance and just live the life of a businessman in the early 1960s.  The life of these “mad men” is incredible.  They show up to work in the morning hacking a dart hands free. They toss their coats at their secretaries without saying a word to them and walk into their offices where they immediately pour themselves a glass of whisky. They smoke some more before taking a few calls.  They continue to drink throughout the day and then take a nap on the couch in their offices. When they wake up, they light another dart and pour another drink.  They scribble some ideas down, pass the buck and call it a day.  They go to their mistresses’ house and make passionate early 1960s style love.  They go home to dinner waiting for them on the table and make the same passionate early 1960s style love to their hot wives.   They shut it down with a clear conscience and repeat the process the next day.

 

Aside from the womanizing and gender and racial segregation, the early 60s seem like the best time ever!  Too bad the hippies had to go and eff it all up!  All I want in life is a bottle of whisky beside my desk that I can help myself to whenever I am stressed, need to think, achieve success, feel like procrastinating or someone comes to talk to me.  Is this too much to ask for in this politically correct and hypersensitive world?

 

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Local Saviour

Posted in Travel with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 20, 2010 by Jordan

Some readers of The Whole Ball of Wax are already fully aware of Listowel, Ontario’s two-week St. Patrick’s Day festival called Paddy Fest put on by the local Kinsmen and Kinettes.  I’ve never actually attended Paddy Fest but I think I get the gist of how it works.  It’s basically a combination of drinking, beauty pageants and concerts geared toward those who like country music.  One of those most entertaining and crowd-pleasing elements of Paddy Fest has always been the arm wrestling tournament.  Again, I’ve never seen it but I know my cousin Joint Boy has won it many times and looks possessed while he decimates his opponents.

 

The popularity of Paddy Fest has raised tones of money for the Kinsmen and Kinettes who in turn put the money back into the local community.  However, rumor has it that Paddy Fest is no longer turning a profit and a big reason for this is that the arm wrestling tournament has gone stale on the locals.  Despite the fact that I have not lived in Listowel for quite some time I have been itching for an opportunity to give back to the town that gave me the opportunity to give you The Whole Ball of Wax.  Consequently, I am single handedly going to save Paddy Fest this March.

 

Three words….

 

EXTREME – ARM – WRESTLING

 

Picture yourself in Listowel Memorial Arena and envision Joint Boy tapped to his opponent and strapped to an arm wrestling table.  Now envision Joint Boy’s eyes turning to dollar signs as he fights like a whore and beats the crap out of his opponent.  That’s what the Kinsmen and Kinettes will be doing after they read this post and watch this video..

 

 

P. S. – I totally made up the part about Paddy Fest not turning a profit.  I honestly have no idea about the finances of Paddy Fest… I’m sure they’re doing fine though.

 

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