Archive for Halloween

It’s Called a Christmas Sweater

Posted in Grind My Gears with tags , , , , , , , , on December 20, 2010 by Jordan

I’m not going to sit here and act like I invented Christmas parties, because I didn’t. However, I am going to sit here and act like I invented Christmas sweater themed parties, because I did.  It doesn’t grind my gears that millions of people around the world have stolen my idea but it does grind my gears that millions of people around the world refer to Christmas sweaters as “ugly sweaters”.


There are two main reasons why the term “ugly sweater” bothers me.  The first is that I feel it degrades the festive spirit of Christmas.  It’s not an “ugly sweater” at all; it’s a festive sweater.  I’ve never once heard a Halloween costume called a “Skank costume” or a “Narcissistic Douche Bag costume” even though that’s exactly what most of them are.  No matter how absurd a Halloween costume is they are always called just that, a Halloween costume.  Consequently, Christmas sweaters must be treated with the same respect as Halloween costumes no matter how ridiculous the patterns on the front of the sweater happens to be.


The second reason why the term “ugly sweater” grinds my gears is that I feel it’s a term used by people lacking self-confidence.  People hide behind the term “ugly sweater” when they wear a Christmas sweater because they don’t see the fun in the sweater.  Because they don’t see the fun in the sweater they make fun of what they are wearing by calling it an “ugly sweater” before their peers have the opportunity to make fun of the sweater first.  By calling a Christmas sweater an “ugly sweater” people instantly imply that they do not like what they are wearing and are embarrassed by their appearance.


The interesting thing about Christmas sweaters is that they are constant and consistent.  I was perusing through The Bay today and saw a Christmas sweater made by Ralph Lauren.  It was a classic knitted sweater with a silhouette of a reindeer surrounded by snowflakes on it.  Intrigued by it’s quality, I checked the price tag of the sweater only to find that it was $150.  The question I would like to know is whether this $150 Ralph Lauren sweater is a Christmas sweater, an “ugly sweater”, or just a sweater made by Ralph Lauren?  I would call it a Christmas sweater but I would bet there are a lot of narcissistic douche bags out there that would call this a sweater by Ralph Lauren.


Ballsy Journey

Posted in Education, People with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 18, 2010 by Jordan

It’s not often that Antoine Dodson and Edward Cullen are in the same room together but this happened just a couple of weeks ago at a Halloween party.  Dressed as Antoine Dodson I circulated the room warning all in attendance to hide their kids, wives and husbands because rumor had it there was a rapist in the area who was adamant he rape everybody.  I stumbled upon Edward Cullen and provided him with the same counsel that I had provided everyone else.  Edward seemed appreciative so we engaged in a lengthy conversation on various topics including Movember.  As we talked, it was revealed that Edward Cullen was not Twilight’s Edward Cullen at all but rather Thomas Cantley, a filmmaker from New York and cancer survivor.


Thomas was diagnosed with testicular cancer last year at the age of 26 and was very open with me about his experience.  He explained that he was reluctant to go see a physician despite the persistent pains he had been having in his lower abdomen. He told me that it wasn’t until his testicle swelled to the size of a grapefruit and the pain overwhelmed him that he actually went to see a doctor.  By this time the cancer had spread to his stomach and it appeared his chances of overcoming the disease were slim.  After showing me the massive scare from his surgery that runs up the center of his stomach, Thomas told me he had created a charity specifically for testicular cancer called Ballsy.


Now cancer free, Thomas is in the process of creating the Ballsy Journey that will see a group of people push a 7 ft. ball from Halifax to Toronto as a means of creating awareness and a proactive attitude towards testicular cancer.  In addition, he is making a documentary called Ballsy that will tell the story of his own experience and the experiences of other testicular cancer patients.


Thomas is an incredibly positive and ambitious young adult that has seen the light and made a serious commitment to make a difference in this world.  I encourage all to visit the Ballsy website and join the Ballsy Journey Facebook Group.


Furthermore, if you happen to see a 7 ft. ball being pushed down the street in the near future or you find that your own balls hurt more then normal… Look into it!  If you don’t have balls, just check out the 7 ft. ball.


How To Be Tight

Posted in Television with tags , , , , , , on October 31, 2010 by Jordan

The LC and I doubled down on the Halloween house parties last night, which were filled with a host of excellent costumes.  Three of my favorites included a girl dressed as a loofah, a guy dressed as Alan from The Hangover with a baby strapped to his chest and a guy dressed as a Tim Horton’s drive thru ordering box.  These three costumes were all well done and very recognizable; however, the worst thing about Halloween costumes is when your costume is unreal and no one knows who you are.  A guy at one of the parties we were at last night had one such costume.  He went as Chazz from episode 2 of the How To Be Tight videos.  I had never seen these videos until last night but this guy had Chazz down perfectly.


For those that aren’t familiar with these videos, How To Be Tight is a spoof of the absolute garbage that is televised on MTV on a constant basis.  As far as I know there are three videos so far but they are making more so keep your eyes open.

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