Archive for NASCAR

The Royal Buck and Doe

Posted in People with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2011 by Jordan

With warmer temperatures in the air, buds on the trees and snow all but gone from the forecast; all signs are indicating that the start of Buck and Doe season is upon us.  After several disappointing campaigns, this season is poised to be one of the most promising seasons in more than half a century. Buck and Doe coordinators have exhausted all marketing strategies and have learned from NASCAR schedulers who place their biggest race of the year at the start of every season.  Consequently, this year’s Buck and Doe season will kick the year off right with The Royal Buck and Doe on April 2, 2011.

Set to wed at the end of April, Prince William and Kate Middleton’s will hold their Buck and Doe this weekend at the Royal Ag Hall. The Royal Jester Wicky will be in attendance and spinning tracks for the Royal Affair while demanding that, “Every guy grab a girl and get out on the dance floor huah huah huah!”  It is also expected that Wicky will increase the Royal Volume to 11 as the night progresses causing the Royal Conversations to adjust to a Royal Yell.

Rumor has it, the Royal Party Shop has already processed an order for two Royal Helium Balloons that will be placed on the Royal Belt Loops of the Royal Couple.  This will allow all in attendance to clearly identify the Royal Couple from across the Royal Room should they care to seek them out for a Royal Handshake or Royal Hug.  Sources also indicate that a Royal Shopper was spotted buying several loaves of Royal Wonder Bread, several dozen Royal Eggs, and 5 jars of Royal Miracle Whip.  With this type of purchase, one can only anticipate that the Royal Wedding Party has settled on Royal Egg Salad Sandwiches as the Royal Midnight Snack.

It is expected that there will be a Royal Tuppence Toss for a Royal Box of Royal Melba Toast and a silent Royal Auction with Royal Prizes that include an empty Royal Cooler and homemade Royal Garden Art.

The Royal Bar will be fully stocked with four types of Royal Beer including; Royal Bud Light, Royal Coors Light, Royal Blue Light and Royal Crystal. For the harder Royal, there will be a Royal Hard Bar complete with Royal Potters Vodka, Royal Black Velvet Whisky, and Royal Bacardi White Rum.

Royal Festivities will conclude around 1:00 AM with the majority of the Royal Crowd expected to take the party to the Royal Anchor while the Royal Couple sticks around to help stack the Royal Chairs and dry mop the Royal Floors.

All in all, it should be a Royal Good Time!

Lovely Voice, Lovely Face

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , on September 22, 2010 by Jordan

At the time I first watched this video there were just under 500, 000 views of it on youtube.  The quality of this video makes me think that I’m doing something wrong in life.  Rather than taking the low brow approach on this one and pointing out the obvious greatness of this video I’ll point out the hidden gems.

1.  I’m not 100% but I think the mascots from the Vancouver Olympics might be over her right shoulder.

2.  Notice the large picture of Dale Earnhartd Sr. on her wall when she leans forward.

3.  Impeccable air guitar.

4.  The chicken slash bus driver dance she does during the outro.

5.  Her uncanny ability to accidently harmonize with the actual song playing in the background.

6.  The drool sliding down the right corner of her mouth.

7.  Her very profound and distinguished mustache.

8.  Her “bye bye now” comment at the end.

9.  The fact that there are more videos of her on youtube.

10. I have to state the obvious here…SHE ONLY HAS ONE TOOTH!

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