Archive for Saved By the Bell

The Talk Features Six Geese a Laying

Posted in Television with tags , , , , , , , , , on December 24, 2010 by Jordan

I was watching T.V. this afternoon and a show called The Talk came on.  At a glance The Talk appears to be exactly the same as The View but with lower profile hens as the show’s hosts.  The LC informed me that The Talk has claimed to be vastly different from The View.  I’ve been in a few chicken barns in my day so I feel qualified in deciphering the difference between hen parties.

The View features up to five hosts for any given show plus featured guests.  The five regular hosts are comprised of acclaimed news correspondent Barbra Walters, actress Whoopi Goldberg, comedian Joy Behar, actress Sherri Shepherd and some bitch named Elisabeth Hasselbeck. The Talk on the other hand features up to six regular hosts per show.  The Talk boasts the exceptional talents of Big Brother host Julie Chen, Darlene from Roseanne, Jack Osbourn’s mom, some black woman, Stacey Carosi from Saved by the Bell, and some other hack.

Aside from providing continuous examples of how to cluck over someone, both shows tackle riveting issues like how to roost, various egg fertilizing positions, how to lay both white and brown eggs, the difference in corn, wheat, and oat mash (food), how to keep your feathers permanently ruffled, and how to determine if your rooster is faithful or not.

I have looked at these two shows from all angles and the only thing I can find that separates The Talk from The View is that The Talk has a coffee table infront of their couch and The View does not.  Aside from this, these two shows are basically the exact same chicken coop with a different name on the door.

It’s honestly exhilarating stuff!

Hey! Hey! Hey! What is Going on Here?

Posted in Education with tags , , , on July 26, 2010 by Jordan

I was walking home from work today and I saw a driver-training car that was a smart car.  I thought that was a rather good choice for a driver-training car.  When you first learn to play soccer or basketball you learn with a smaller ball so it only makes sense that you learn how to drive with a smaller car.  It would definitely make learning to parallel park easier… well, for most of us… but not all (you know who you are).  Anyway, when I saw this tiny driver-training car I instantly thought of the driver-training car in Saved By the Bell.  Were they Derek Ferrel with that thing or what?  It was a three-wheeled golf cart and they actually drove it in the school.  What are you going to learn driving in Bayside High School? There are only two hallways and a staircase in that school and the hallways are both like 20 feet long.  There were a lot of hazards though.  Nerds climbing out of lockers, flying footballs, skateboarders and of course oil slicks from Slaters mullet.

The research staff at The Who Ball of Wax worked extensively and tirelessly to find the following clip so we can all recall just how budget and bush Saved By the Bell actually was.

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