The Loser Fish in the Big Pond

A couple of Saturday mornings ago I was watching Sports Center (as I do every morning) to catch the highlights from the night before.  For anyone who has watched T.V. on Saturday mornings you know that there are really only three different T.V. options on Saturday mornings:  Kids shows, infomercials and fishing.  On this particular Saturday I decided to stay tuned in to TSN following Sports Center to watch Canadian Sport Fishing hosted by Italo Labignan.  Some of you may know my oldest brother is obsessed with fishing so I am no stranger to watching fishing on Saturday mornings, Canadian Sport Fishing included.  As far as fishing shows go Italo does a pretty good job on Canadian Sport Fishing.  He often goes to remote places and catches some unique and huge fish.  This is far more interesting then that tub of guts Darryl Cronzy who catches nothing but walleye so he can get back to shore to have his shore lunch.  I don’t know what was up with Italo on this particular day but he missed the boat big time when he made his theme of the day catching pan fish.

For those that don’t have a fish obsessed brother like me, pan fish are little skinny and spiky bitch fish like; sunfish, perch and rock bass.  I’m not sure why but for some reason Italo thought it would be a good idea to make an entire show about catching fish people catch when they are trying to catch real fish.  The best part of this episode was how serious he was taking it.  First of all, he was in a boat.  Second, he was using a wide variety of jigs and crank baits and talking about how pan fish like the action of these baits.  Third, he was catching fish that were like four inches long and saying they were a good size. Last, he was using a net to bring the four-inch fish into the boat and bragging about his little net he got for catching pan fish.

IS THIS GUY DEREK FOREAL!?  There should not be a show on T.V. about catching fish that any moron can catch at will and there should definitely not be a show on T.V. that analyzes how to catch rock bass.

I will tell you how to catch rock bass right now.

Step 1 – Find any random bridge that crosses a river.

Step 2 – Put a worm on a hook.

Step 3 – Drop your line in the water.

Step 4 – Wait 10 seconds.

Step 5 – Reel the 10 once fish out of the water to the top of the bridge.

Step 6 – Throw the fish back in the water.

Step 7 – Repeat Process.

There you go.  Bring on the sponsorship Berkley Trilene.

Terry Fox – The Greatest Canadian

On September 2, 1980, Terry Fox was forced to end his courageous Marathon of Hope just outside of Thunder Bay, ON after running for 143 days and covering 5, 373 kilometers across Canada.  Terry’s campaign to raise cancer awareness and overcome the disease came to an end when he died nine months later on June 28, 1981.

Terry’s Marathon of Hope began with little fan fair when he dipped his prosthetic leg into the Atlantic Ocean near St. John’s Nfld on April 12, 1980.  By the time he reached the Ontario boarder Terry had reached rock star status as thousands of Ontarian’s lined the streets in support of his efforts.   Among the supporters was Hockey Hall of Famer Bobby Orr who presented Terry with a personal cheque for $25, 000.  Terry considered meeting the great Bruins defenceman as the highlight of his journey of hope.  By the time Terry’s cancer had spread to his lungs and was forced to abandon his efforts, his Marathon of Hope had raised $1.7 million.  One week later CTV held a telethon that raised another $10.5 million in support of Terry and the Canadian Cancer Society.

Terry’s influence around the world was so prominent that as his health worsened and his fait became imminent Pope John Paul II sent Terry a telegram informing Terry he was praying for him.  When Terry died, the Government of Canada ordered all flags across the country lowered to half mast and Prime Minister Trudeau addressed the House of Commons stating, “It occurs very rarely in the life of a nation that the courageous spirit of one person unites all people in the celebration of his life and in the mourning of his death….We do not think of him as one who was defeated by misfortune but as one who inspired us with the example of the triumph of the human spirit over adversity.”

Since Terry’s death, the annual Terry Fox Run has become the world’s largest one-day fundraiser for cancer research while raising more than $500 million.  Tomorrow is the 30^th running of the Terry Fox Run, which coincides with the T.V. premier of Into the Wind on TSN 2 co-directed by British Columbian and NBA star Steve Nash.   This film celebrates the life of Terry Fox while addressing his state of mind and thoughts and reflections throughout his Marathon of Hope.

In 2004 Terry Fox finished second to Tommy Douglas in CBC’s campaign to determine The Greatest Canadian.  With respect to the great efforts of Tommy Douglas and his creation of universal public health care, Terry Fox should have been declared The Greatest Canadian. Terry was everything a good Canadian should be.  Intelligent, driven, dedicated, passionate, humble and inspiring are only a handful of adjectives that consummate the person that was Terry Fox.  His legacy must not and will not ever die for he is The Greatest Canadian.

The ‘Buck’ Stops Here

I may be boring but I have sick flow!

I am presently taking in my first Blue Jays game of the year on Sportsnet. For those who don’t know, Buck Martinez has replaced Jamie Campbell as the game caller of Blue Jays baseball this year.  For those who do not watch baseball or have not watched a Blue Jays game on T.V. yet this year, Buck is really bad at his new gig!

For those who don’t know, Buck Martinez was a catcher for the Blue Jays back in the 80s, then he was the colour guy for the Blue Jays on TSN about 10 years ago, then he was the Blue Jays manager, then got fired, then got hired by some other team, then got fired again.   Now, as previously mentioned he calls the games for the Blue Jays on Sportsnet.

These are the reasons why Buck Martinez is bush at calling Blue Jays baseball.  First and foremost, he sounds like an idiot with a limited vocabulary constantly bumbling over his words like he just had a stroke.  Second, Buck is from North Carolina and you can clearly hear it in his voice!  Combined with Pat Tabler who is from Ohio but sounds like he is from Texas, it sounds like a couple of yokels broadcasting to their Canadian audience.  That said however, I’m sure most people from my home town can’t hear the accents and just assume that both of them are from Atwood!  Third, I find it amusing that Buck asks Pat to explain what certain terms mean, like sitting on a pitch.  Here I am thinking to myself, “Weren’t you a major league manager last year Buck?  Also, weren’t you a big league player for several seasons?  Shouldn’t you know what sitting on a pitch means?”  Then I think to myself, “Could this be why you are not a manager anymore, because you don’t know what sitting on a pitch means and therefore never told your players to do so?”  Figure it out Buck!  Lastly, Buck is not a broadcaster and does not have a broadcaster’s voice.  He has a colour guy’s voice and the mentality of a colour guy.  It is incredibly boring listening to Buck and Pat drone on about nothing.  If I wanted to listen to two colour guys call a sports game, I would clone John Madden and put both of them on the mic together.  Then we could listen to two funny guys bumble and drone on about nothing!

I need to point one last thing out because it just happened and it was hilarious in an analytical kind of way.  Pat is the colour guy and should therefore be the expert and provide analytical insight into the game.  I mentioned earlier, that Buck was asking Pat dumb question that he clearly knows the answers to.  However, in the sixth inning, Pat started asking Buck basic dumb question about what a player was thinking at the plate.  It’s like they were playing good cop bad cop and flip flopping roles throughout the process, except in this case it would be smart broadcaster dumb broadcaster.  Looks like it’s going to be a long year for Jay’s fans in more than one way!

P.S. Great crowd tonight!  Way to go Toronto!