Archive for Whisky

The Royal Buck and Doe

Posted in People with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2011 by Jordan

With warmer temperatures in the air, buds on the trees and snow all but gone from the forecast; all signs are indicating that the start of Buck and Doe season is upon us.  After several disappointing campaigns, this season is poised to be one of the most promising seasons in more than half a century. Buck and Doe coordinators have exhausted all marketing strategies and have learned from NASCAR schedulers who place their biggest race of the year at the start of every season.  Consequently, this year’s Buck and Doe season will kick the year off right with The Royal Buck and Doe on April 2, 2011.

Set to wed at the end of April, Prince William and Kate Middleton’s will hold their Buck and Doe this weekend at the Royal Ag Hall. The Royal Jester Wicky will be in attendance and spinning tracks for the Royal Affair while demanding that, “Every guy grab a girl and get out on the dance floor huah huah huah!”  It is also expected that Wicky will increase the Royal Volume to 11 as the night progresses causing the Royal Conversations to adjust to a Royal Yell.

Rumor has it, the Royal Party Shop has already processed an order for two Royal Helium Balloons that will be placed on the Royal Belt Loops of the Royal Couple.  This will allow all in attendance to clearly identify the Royal Couple from across the Royal Room should they care to seek them out for a Royal Handshake or Royal Hug.  Sources also indicate that a Royal Shopper was spotted buying several loaves of Royal Wonder Bread, several dozen Royal Eggs, and 5 jars of Royal Miracle Whip.  With this type of purchase, one can only anticipate that the Royal Wedding Party has settled on Royal Egg Salad Sandwiches as the Royal Midnight Snack.

It is expected that there will be a Royal Tuppence Toss for a Royal Box of Royal Melba Toast and a silent Royal Auction with Royal Prizes that include an empty Royal Cooler and homemade Royal Garden Art.

The Royal Bar will be fully stocked with four types of Royal Beer including; Royal Bud Light, Royal Coors Light, Royal Blue Light and Royal Crystal. For the harder Royal, there will be a Royal Hard Bar complete with Royal Potters Vodka, Royal Black Velvet Whisky, and Royal Bacardi White Rum.

Royal Festivities will conclude around 1:00 AM with the majority of the Royal Crowd expected to take the party to the Royal Anchor while the Royal Couple sticks around to help stack the Royal Chairs and dry mop the Royal Floors.

All in all, it should be a Royal Good Time!

Mad Men Drink at Work

Posted in History, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 14, 2010 by Jordan

The LC and I have recently taken a fancy to the AMC show Mad Men.  Set in the 1960s, Mad Men tells the story of an advertising agency and its employees on Madison Ave. in Manhattan.  Historical, political and social references put the overall plot into context but its characters and the development of those characters is what really drives Mad Men.

 

I posted an article called Excellent Adventures several months ago about how I thought it would be sweet to travel back in time to a significant historical period and influence that period with the knowledge and technology of the 21st century (No, I did not consider the butterfly effect when I wrote the original post).  After watching the first two seasons of Mad Men, it would please me greatly to throw on my veil of ignorance and just live the life of a businessman in the early 1960s.  The life of these “mad men” is incredible.  They show up to work in the morning hacking a dart hands free. They toss their coats at their secretaries without saying a word to them and walk into their offices where they immediately pour themselves a glass of whisky. They smoke some more before taking a few calls.  They continue to drink throughout the day and then take a nap on the couch in their offices. When they wake up, they light another dart and pour another drink.  They scribble some ideas down, pass the buck and call it a day.  They go to their mistresses’ house and make passionate early 1960s style love.  They go home to dinner waiting for them on the table and make the same passionate early 1960s style love to their hot wives.   They shut it down with a clear conscience and repeat the process the next day.

 

Aside from the womanizing and gender and racial segregation, the early 60s seem like the best time ever!  Too bad the hippies had to go and eff it all up!  All I want in life is a bottle of whisky beside my desk that I can help myself to whenever I am stressed, need to think, achieve success, feel like procrastinating or someone comes to talk to me.  Is this too much to ask for in this politically correct and hypersensitive world?

 

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