Ballsy Journey

It’s not often that Antoine Dodson and Edward Cullen are in the same room together but this happened just a couple of weeks ago at a Halloween party.  Dressed as Antoine Dodson I circulated the room warning all in attendance to hide their kids, wives and husbands because rumor had it there was a rapist in the area who was adamant he rape everybody.  I stumbled upon Edward Cullen and provided him with the same counsel that I had provided everyone else.  Edward seemed appreciative so we engaged in a lengthy conversation on various topics including Movember.  As we talked, it was revealed that Edward Cullen was not Twilight’s Edward Cullen at all but rather Thomas Cantley, a filmmaker from New York and cancer survivor.

 

Thomas was diagnosed with testicular cancer last year at the age of 26 and was very open with me about his experience.  He explained that he was reluctant to go see a physician despite the persistent pains he had been having in his lower abdomen. He told me that it wasn’t until his testicle swelled to the size of a grapefruit and the pain overwhelmed him that he actually went to see a doctor.  By this time the cancer had spread to his stomach and it appeared his chances of overcoming the disease were slim.  After showing me the massive scare from his surgery that runs up the center of his stomach, Thomas told me he had created a charity specifically for testicular cancer called Ballsy.

 

Now cancer free, Thomas is in the process of creating the Ballsy Journey that will see a group of people push a 7 ft. ball from Halifax to Toronto as a means of creating awareness and a proactive attitude towards testicular cancer.  In addition, he is making a documentary called Ballsy that will tell the story of his own experience and the experiences of other testicular cancer patients.

 

Thomas is an incredibly positive and ambitious young adult that has seen the light and made a serious commitment to make a difference in this world.  I encourage all to visit the Ballsy website and join the Ballsy Journey Facebook Group.

 

Furthermore, if you happen to see a 7 ft. ball being pushed down the street in the near future or you find that your own balls hurt more then normal… Look into it!  If you don’t have balls, just check out the 7 ft. ball.

 

She’s Back and Better Than Ever

Most people watch this video and see a fat disgusting girl with two teeth and a goatee grabbing at her excess.  When I watch this video I see a girl with a lot of spirit, a great sense of humor and a sensational personality.  Why is it that I see the good in Chris Athey and YOU see the bad?  Easy answer, I’m a good person and you are not.  A better question is what does Don Draper see when he watches this video?  Easy answer again, Double D sees whatever he wants to see and he sees it while smoking, drinking and cheating on his wife.

Forced Me to Eat It

A lot of videos have been posted on The Whole Ball of Wax, all of which I think are hilarious.  However, I’m starting to notice a regional trend with a lot of the videos posted on this high quality blog.  The Southern United States has some of the most interesting and ridiculous people that this world has to offer.  This news story is similar to the Antoin Dodson story posted in August in the sense that it is a serious situation that is made hilarious by the caricatures involved.  This entire video is funny to me but if you want the Coles Notes version just watch from 1:26 to 1:32.  If you don’t think these 6 seconds are hilarious please do not ever read this blog again because you do not have the sense of humor we are looking for around these parts.

Enjoy!

Sigh No More Mumford & Sons are Here

If you are one of the few that haven’t heard of a band out of England called Mumford & Sons it’s time to crawl out of your cave and get in the now.  Mumford & Sons is in the process of wrapping up a sold out tour of Eastern North America.  Obviously they didn’t stop in Halifax because Halifax focuses it’s concert efforts on attracting the likes of Colin James and Burton Cummings cover bands.  However, Mumford & Sons did make a stop in Toronto on the weekend and all the reviews I’ve read suggest the show at Sound Academy was nothing short of unreal.  In classic Canadian inferiority complex style one review suggested that Mumford & Sons was the English equivalent of Great Big Sea.  This statement would hold true if Mumford & Sons sounded like a gay Christian band with newfie accents that sucked, but they don’t so the comparison is bunk.  Mumford & Sons stopped by the 102.1 Edge studio while in Toronto to play a couple tunes which apparently created a greater buzz then when U2 stopped by a couple of years ago.

If you haven’t had a chance to listen to any of Mumford & Sons tracks go download the album for like 9 bucks.  It’s called Sigh No More and will explore all your emotions except the desire to be a juice monkey or douche bag.  Here’s a sample from their session at the Edge studio.

Mad Men Drink at Work

The LC and I have recently taken a fancy to the AMC show Mad Men.  Set in the 1960s, Mad Men tells the story of an advertising agency and its employees on Madison Ave. in Manhattan.  Historical, political and social references put the overall plot into context but its characters and the development of those characters is what really drives Mad Men.

 

I posted an article called Excellent Adventures several months ago about how I thought it would be sweet to travel back in time to a significant historical period and influence that period with the knowledge and technology of the 21^st century (No, I did not consider the butterfly effect when I wrote the original post).  After watching the first two seasons of Mad Men, it would please me greatly to throw on my veil of ignorance and just live the life of a businessman in the early 1960s.  The life of these “mad men” is incredible.  They show up to work in the morning hacking a dart hands free. They toss their coats at their secretaries without saying a word to them and walk into their offices where they immediately pour themselves a glass of whisky. They smoke some more before taking a few calls.  They continue to drink throughout the day and then take a nap on the couch in their offices. When they wake up, they light another dart and pour another drink.  They scribble some ideas down, pass the buck and call it a day.  They go to their mistresses’ house and make passionate early 1960s style love.  They go home to dinner waiting for them on the table and make the same passionate early 1960s style love to their hot wives.   They shut it down with a clear conscience and repeat the process the next day.

 

Aside from the womanizing and gender and racial segregation, the early 60s seem like the best time ever!  Too bad the hippies had to go and eff it all up!  All I want in life is a bottle of whisky beside my desk that I can help myself to whenever I am stressed, need to think, achieve success, feel like procrastinating or someone comes to talk to me.  Is this too much to ask for in this politically correct and hypersensitive world?

 

The Man, The Myth, The Gemini Award Winner

It’s rare that you can drink alone and not feel like an alcoholic but as of right now I am experiencing one of those rare moments.  Less then an hour ago faithful Whole Ball of Wax reader and all round great guy Jared Keeso won the Gemini Award for his outstanding performance as Don Cherry in Keep Your Head Up Kids: The Don Cherry Story.  In addition, Benjamin Arthur (who is also an all round great guy) won the Gemini for his role in the T.V. show Less Than Kind.  Due to this great news, I am going to proceed to drink until I fall asleep on the couch and spill my beer on my crotch.

By no means do I have an acute knowledge of the Canadian film industry, but I have spent enough time with these two individuals to recognize and appreciate the amount of effort and commitment that goes into being an actor in Canada.  Not always the most glamorous of lifestyles, both Jared and Ben have made substantial sacrifices as they continuously strive to perfect their art.  The nature of the Canadian film industry probably means that the last minute notice for auditions won’t stop for either of these guys but tonight they can take solace in the fact that they are among the best at what they do in the entire country.  There are very few Canadians that can say they are the best in Canada at what they do and because of this rarity The Whole Ball of Wax wishes to congratulate both Jared and Ben for their truly outstanding accomplishments tonight.

A Day of Remembrance

In the two weeks before November 11th it is customary for people in the Commonwealth countries to wear a poppy.  Poppies were amongst the first things to grow following the destructive battles in the Flanders region of Belgium during WWI.  The brilliant red of the poppies is said to symbolize the blood spilled throughout the Great War.  It was John McCrae’s reference in his poem In Flanders Fields that brought the poppy to represent the sacrifices of the armed forces.

Every year I proudly wear a poppy as a means of remembrance.  However, today was the first Remembrance Day I actually had the opportunity to pay my respects at a cenotaph or war memorial.  As thousands gathered at the Sailors Memorial in Halifax to pay homage to the fallen, the waves of the Atlantic crashed along the shoreline.  I found myself travelling back in time to the 1940s and envisioning the convoys bound for Britain leaving the Halifax harbor.  Anytime I try to put myself in the shoes of past heroes I am grateful I was never presented with their situation.  However, it is this gratefulness that ensures I will not forget the efforts of Canada’s veterans.  Consequently, I will gladly wear a poppy every year and leave that poppy at a war memorial on November 11^th.

A Month to Movember

I’m sure you all know that the month of November no longer exists and that it has been replaced by the month of Movember.  For those that are unfamiliar with Movember let me clarify that the month formally known as November is a month dedicated to growing a mustache as a means of creating awareness and funds for men’s health issues (particularly prostate cancer).  The great mustache growing campaign began as a grassroots movement in Australia in the early 2000s with just 30 Mo Bros participating and has since spread worldwide accumulating almost 700,000 Mo Bros and Mo Sistas.

 

I’ve grown many beards and mos (Australian slang for mustache) for pleasure in my day but have never grown a mo for a cause.  As this is my first Movember campaign, I encourage all able Bros and Sistas with a little French in them to neglect their upper lips for the month and see if we can’t drum up some awareness and funds for men’s health issues in Canada.

 

I will post a picture of my upper lip follicles in action everyday for all readers to see the Tom Selleck in me.  You will be able to check my daily mo progress by clicking on the Movember topic in the side bar.

 

Should anyway have some spare change to donate after a very busy fundraising October and desire to donate to the Movember cause, you can donate to me or my team by clicking on the link below and typing either my name or my team’s name (edustache) in the Search Box.

 

http://ca.movember.com/donate/find-member/

 

Remember, with great mustache comes great responsibility so lets all do our part.