Archive for September, 2010

No. 2 Poo Poo… In Your Face!

Posted in Education with tags , , , , on September 30, 2010 by Jordan

There are more than a few interesting comments made at this anti-homosexuality press conference in Uganda, none of which I endorse in any way shape or form by the way.  Most comments are more descriptive and suggestive than is required which suggests to me that this guy talking has first hand experience in such activities.  Despite the exemplary picture painted of the gay community by this man the thing that shocks me the most about watching this video is that they have MacBook Pro computers in Africa.  People in Canada can’t even afford MacBook Pro computers… how can this guy afford one?

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Segways That Kill

Posted in Education, Movies, Technology with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 28, 2010 by Jordan

Less than a year ago British businessman Jim Heselden purchased the Segway company from American inventor Dean Kamen.  In an unconventional and likely accidental marketing ploy, Heselden fell to his death yesterday after riding one of his Segway scooters off a cliff.

I feel as though all business owners should parish at the hands of their products.  The owner of General Motors should die in a car accident; the owner of Weed Eater should die in a freak weed eater accident, the owner of Nike should die of a heart attack while in the middle of a run and the owner of Trojan condoms should die mid-thrust after his penis falls off for some unfortunate reason.

Come to think of it, I think this is already taught as a Law of Business in the prestigious St. Mary’s University Commerce program… Yes it definitely is!  And I quote, “Business Law 12-A.  All business owners must be killed by the product they own… kind of like how Gozer made the Ghostbusters choose their own destructor at the end of the first Ghostbusters movie.”

Great movie!

Perfect Drink for the Start of Fall

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , on September 23, 2010 by Jordan

This is an absolute epic original that is equally as good if not better then the crap that makes it to the top of the Billboard Charts (Am actually serious about this too). 

I would like to thank Hub for pointing out that she does indeed have two front teeth.  It appears she also has one or two teeth in the back as well.  Probably for grinding up discount meat. 

It is also worth noting that she has a dog.  I would like to make a teeth comparison between the two. 

Prediction… the dog wins in a landslide.

Lovely Voice, Lovely Face

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , on September 22, 2010 by Jordan

At the time I first watched this video there were just under 500, 000 views of it on youtube.  The quality of this video makes me think that I’m doing something wrong in life.  Rather than taking the low brow approach on this one and pointing out the obvious greatness of this video I’ll point out the hidden gems.

1.  I’m not 100% but I think the mascots from the Vancouver Olympics might be over her right shoulder.

2.  Notice the large picture of Dale Earnhartd Sr. on her wall when she leans forward.

3.  Impeccable air guitar.

4.  The chicken slash bus driver dance she does during the outro.

5.  Her uncanny ability to accidently harmonize with the actual song playing in the background.

6.  The drool sliding down the right corner of her mouth.

7.  Her very profound and distinguished mustache.

8.  Her “bye bye now” comment at the end.

9.  The fact that there are more videos of her on youtube.

10. I have to state the obvious here…SHE ONLY HAS ONE TOOTH!

State of Emergency has Newfoundlander’s Jonesin’ for a Cold Drink

Posted in Politics, Travel on September 21, 2010 by Jordan

The Avalon Peninsula in Newfoundland was pounded by Hurricane Igor today, which caused a number of towns and cities to declare states of emergency.  After seeing the damage and hearing the personal stories of many Newfoundlanders, it made me thankful that Hurricane Earl was such a joke when it passed over Halifax a couple of weeks ago.

There was the one man who’s abandoned boat and fishing nets blew into his neighbours yard.  Now the army will have to be called in to move the boat back to its rightful place on the guy’s front yard.

There was the other guy whose sitting pale had to be flipped right side up to catch the water leaking through his ceiling.  Now the guy has nowhere to sit and will be forced to stand until Igor has cleared the area.

There was the one house whose street side mailbox disappeared.  Where is the welfare cheque going to go now?  One things for sure, the mailman isn’t going to go out of his way to deliver the cheque unless this house gets a new mailbox pronto.

The most devastating and region wide problem is the loss of power.  Most Newfoundlanders are out of cold beer and have begun drinking the warm ones that hadn’t yet had a chance to make it to the fridge.  Unless power is restored in time for the liquor stores to open tomorrow it is expected that absolute chaos and pandemonium will sweep through the region… Wrestlemania style.

In all seriousness though, it does look pretty bad over there so somebody should probably go and help them out.

Zinger!

Posted in Philosophy with tags on September 20, 2010 by Jordan

I keep hearing jokes that I think are hysterical so I’ve created a page (right hand column) to record them.  So check into the joke page from time to time to see what I think is funny.

Most will be dirty so don’t leave any comment about how dirty they are cause I already know they are dirty.

Feel free to leave your own and if I like them I may just add them to the list.

A Steak Better

Posted in Philosophy with tags , , , on September 20, 2010 by Jordan

Today I discovered a way to become rich beyond my wildest dreams.  Two words… DISCOUNT MEAT.

I went to the grocery story to buy a Wii accessory and decided to pick up some steaks for myself and the LC.  To my surprise, there were two top sirloin steaks 30% OFF.  Why were they 30% OFF?  They expired tomorrow.  Sure they looked a little pale and smelled a little off but they grilled up to perfection.   It was honestly one of the best steak I’ve had in a while which caused me to proclaim at dinner that I will only eat discount meat from this day forward.

The math is simple.   Two $10 steaks at 30% OFF would allow me to save $6 dollars a week on steak alone.  If I start buying chicken, pork and fish at 30% OFF every week I’m going to be saving a solid $20-$25 a week on meat.  This doesn’t seem like a lot but it would add up over the year.

The real key to becoming rich on discount meat is to convince your significant other that the meat is such a good deal that they should just pay for it all.  This is what I did today.  So, rather than saving a measly $6 on steak I saved $20 because I didn’t pay for it at all.

That’s just good economic sense if you ask me.

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